To the question and thought of resolutions, it is a little difficult to speak right now.
I did mention that I am not especially a maker of New Year’s Resolutions. However, I most certainly have made promises and commitments, both to myself and to others, throughout my brief journey here.
And have I kept them? This is not always a one word answer either.
I believe strongly in upholding promises and commitments.
I was taught that it is a good rule of thumb to not make promises that you cannot keep. This is why, as a parent, I rely heavily on the term “maybe” when asked about something by my son. (Imagine my consternation when he figured out before I did that my “maybe” almost always means “yes.” – Almost. But not always, I must often defend.)
I was also taught that it is a matter of integrity to keep the promises that you have made. And yet, there have been times when I have poorly judged where the bounds of the commitment really were. And others when my unshakable dedication has kept me in situations much longer than was good for me, and perhaps, for those around me.
It is this balancing act, trying to always be true to my word and knowing that I must also recognize when promises are best broken, that can leave my twirling in the wind.
I am at such a place with my faith. I have, up until this point, been true to the promises made first by my Godparents on my behalf at my Baptism, and then by myself through Confirmation.
Yet, I am re-evaluating the semantics of some of those promises now. Does my affirmation of commitment to a universal, all-embracing community of God (a catholic church) necessitate the blind acquiescence to the dictates of an earthly organization (the Catholic Church)? **
Unfortunately, I am seeing less and less universality and embrace in those dictates… A sometimes heartbreaking thing to recognize.
However, there is one thing that I have resolved and that I can continue to espouse — a commitment to love the Divine Creator, and love all of Creation in the way that (s)he has loved.